Saturday, January 30, 2010

Merlin's Beard!

You are currently viewing the fox known as the Knight of Malta. This here photograph was painted by Mirabello Cavalori in 15somethingsomething. He looks so educatedandshit holding that paper in his portrait. And you know which educated man he reminds me of?

Sheriff of Rottingham. Better known among the female fan-base as 'Rotty'. I keep a likeness of him in my boudoir.
Infamously known as having suffered from what appears to be dyslexic speech and loather of chastity belts, Rotty's a dreamboat.

I'll leave you to ponder Mervin's (aka Rotty's) take on keys: It's not the size that counts... It's how you use it!


Friday, January 22, 2010

Remembering Heath Ledger

So Heath Ledger died two years ago today. Which is a real fucking shame since there are so few acting geniuses in the world, and he was definitely one of them.

And he had nice facial hair. And hair in general. And perfect bone structure, but we wont get into that.

In Ten Things I Hate About You, Heath Ledger was quite the loverboy as Patrick Verona. Who could resist those curls? Rhetorical question. Moving on...

This is a photo from the movie I'm Not There about the life of Bob Dylan. He even makes chin-straps look sophisticated. And Bob Dylan for that matter.

For all the Heath Ledger scruff fans out there.

Four Feathers. So I don't remember too much about the plot of this movie, but he's captured by the enemies or something like that, lives in the desert and gets to grow this studly combo. And its hard to beat a man holding a spear in a studly contest, just sayin'.

This one is from the Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. The rag-a-muffin look doesn't do much for me, but his goatee here is particularly villianesque.

He wore this getup to the Academy Awards. Here, I always felt that the discontinuous goatee isn't really his look. But this might be the most adorable grin I've ever seen. And the man has fine lapels.

This is what I'm talking about when I mean nice facial hair. Look at the perfection, the detail! Some men were meant to grow facial hair, and others to envy them. But compare this to the other photos. Where did the eyebrows come from? Oh well, we can't all be natural.

Remember when I said the discontinuous goatee wasn't his look? I was sooo very, very wrong.

Ah, Ned Kelly. Nothing to say about the movie as I have yet to watch it, but thats a nice unkempt beard/groomed hair combo.

Everyone remember this gem of a photo of him flippin' the bird to the paparazzi? He even took the time to write a little sign. He's so dreamy (and I'm so not being sarcastic).
[Note the burly beard]

With love and may he rest in peace,

Seeing in 20/20

Picture it: only Tuesday and you're stuck in a 3 hour graduate seminar.
Sub-Picture it: you didn't sleep& you've had 3hours of class already.

What's going to wake you up--that's better than a TALL sugar-free redbull or a fresh-cut line of illegal amphetamine?
A well-kept, nicely-shaped mustache like this one:

No, John Stossel, you give ME a break.

This is the man responsible for reviving me on Tuesday with his aggressive approach to journalism and OF COURSE, his careful control over facial hair. What kind of a witness could lie to this luscious stache? NO ONE. John Stossel is hungry for the truth, and fortunately with a volumous flavor-saver like his, he can ALWAYS save some for later.


Monday, January 18, 2010

'Not Without My Mustache'

Season 2 Episode 7 of Reno 911!

Clearly, as the title anticipates, some really important dialogue occurs concerning the fine moustaches of Reno's men in uniform.

First of all, Who the FUCK do they think they are, taking away their moustaches? More importantly, imagine Deputy Junior as a baby with a stache. I think it would look something like this:

And Wiegel has a stache but I think we all knew that.

Who can perform their duties moustacheless? Were I blessed with a lush lip-warmer, I certainly couldn't. And I believe the verb 'aid' is perfectly acceptable to use concerning moustaches.
Finally, Larrie, wtf is wrong with looking like gigolos? seriously? anyone?

This little piece analyzes the value of the moustache, in nearly as much detail as a term paper on Shakespeare. Its as deep as it is lush. And you might be graced with Lieutenant Dangle's stache at an Arby's. No Way? Way.


Sunday, January 17, 2010

Top 10 Staches of ALL TIME!

Freddie Mercury

Mustache perfection. We're not worthy! We're scum! We suck!

Tom Selleck

With a stache like that, I wouldn't give a FUCK if he showed up to our date in that Hawaiian shirt.

Ted Nugent

Full frontal NUGEty? Full frontal STACHery. o yes.


Hulk Hogan

What a FLAVOR-SAVER that stache is about to become!

Salvador Dali

Even Dali can't stop looking at it.

Rollie Fingers

You'd think he was a B-Ball player with them hook shots.

Burt Reynolds

Points for consistency. His eyebrows are mini-mustaches. 3 for 1- bonus!

Wilford Brimley

If you have DIABEETUS, it helps to grow a lush lip-warmer like this one.

Rip Taylor

His stache is a God in my country. Can't wait to see him at Waynestock.

Ron Jeremy

You should have seen the stache we wanted to show you...


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