NEVER wary around GARY

Typically I'm into tall, dark, and scary...but this guy makes me re-think short, pink, and hairy!
Say hello to (conveniently named) GARY! He is the most delightful part of the super-friendly, kind of makes you want to vom but still eat, 'Honey Bunches of Oats (with pecans)' commercial. The cereal people were right about one claim: there is now a prize INSIDE the prize. And no, I don't give a FUCK about the pecans, but I do give lots of fucks about Gary.

Once you get past the helmet and shower cap/hair net (which I personally think is a GREAT look), you can dig THAT STACHE: trimmed, perfect shape, consistent color. Not to mention the fact that this beaut sits gently atop Gary's top-lip-less smile, one of the most endearing features of ALL TIME, which hasn't been rocked properly since Marcia Brady (pre-drug use).

In conclusion, Gary, I salute your stache...sha-wing! Your tamed whiskers are truly the prize within 'Honey Bunches of Oats.'

<3hollywood