Friday, June 17, 2011

Bolton's Stache is Blowing Shit Up

Ex-ambassador to the society of western whiteheads (aka the UN), John Bolton's moustache confuses me.  In case you aren't familiar, he's a neo-conservative who seems to want to rape all of the countries in the world into submission.  And he may be running for president.

He's even more stubborn than myself (moustaches often give you that kind of confidence), which would make him a good leader, but excuse my french, fuckno.  There are not enough iodine pills in the world to protect us from his theoretical moustached administration.

If you want to see him lie out his ass, click here.  He claims to be inintimidatable. That makes sense, I mean did you see that stache?  Only alpha dogs have staches like that.  Except that means his moustache is truly his achilles heel.  Where is Delilah when you need her? [sidenote: If anyone decides to begin a rebellion, I am permitting the name 'Delilah' to be used as long as the main goal is to defolicalize the moustached Sampsons of the political world.]

I am confused because his stache is quite the contrary to my previous post, which explained why facial hair is darker than head hair. I am fairly certain he dyes his hair, but who the fuck dyes their hair to Nasty-Ass Gray (actual color name).  I also suspect that this is his plan B - blow everyone's minds (literally) via confusion and then blow everyone else's thyroids who is resistant to the power of facial hair.  Wait a hot sec, thats a great idea. I'm on board.


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