This just in from Lopez Tonight. Brian Wilson is the jackass we all knew in highschool who pretended that he was better than everybody else (especially if you lived in Massachussetts at the time) but really just wanted acceptance by the cool kids. Ignoring his pathetic adolescence that has led up to his pathetic (yet very high paying and successful - those things always seem to go hand in hand) adulthood, let's roll the clip cause it rates fairly on the hilarious scale!
Sea captain, eh? It's actually a really great look and I'm totally digging it. Brian Wilson, please don't go back to your Jersey Shore gettup. Shit's just not kosher.
Speaking of seamen and epic beards (and daddy issues?), lets check out this completely serious advertisement for a Sea Captain dating website. Oddly specific, but hey, if you're looking for a man with a boat, now you know where to look!
Ladies, if you are over all those fake guys at the bars just trying to get into your pants, date these socially defunkt old men who do not command yachts but still probably have some of their personality left, and definitely lots of their racism from the last time they were on dry land (aka the 1960s). [Visit seacaptaindate.com]
I expect invites to your weddings
-bruiser
Sunday, January 30, 2011
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