Give the nerds a little respect!!

America loves nerds. We dumb folk love that there are people smart enough to figure shit out like iphones and bombs and shit. We also love to hate on them to make ourselves feel better. And Hollywood figured that one out early and has given us a lot of great dorks. What we end up with is a lot of geeks without a chance in hell of getting the girl (you know the deal: glasses, buttoned polos, guys whiter than mayonnaise... )

Poor dudes! But it turns out its all Hollywood magic (for some).

Remember him? Kip Dynamite! Practically the biggest geek ever.

Well, turns out he's a hottie (with possibly the nicest ginger beard ever, I might add).

And his awesome brother, Napoleon Dynamite?

[I realize not everyone gets off on the mouth-breathing, wire-rimmed glasses and jew fro look like I do]

Yeah, totally hottie too.

What a fucking stache! And keep rocking the mane, dude. It's a fucking mess, but if you got it, flaunt it. The sex hair might not be a coincidence - he is probably getting copious amounts of ass from horny nerd girls. Get it!

He does make an adorable nerd though.

[I love the Benchwarmers so this one is simply for your viewing pleasure]

Guess what? Not a nerd. 

Possible nerd:

And my favorite nerd of all time? Garth Algar, obvi

He makes me feel funny inside, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class. Scha-wing.

Everyone like nerds, but everyone loves a hot nerd. They're so educated&shit.

-bruiser

Manly Sperm Wanted

When I saw this picture I realized that I have nothing to live for.

Blue Oyster Cult, as seen above, was living, breathing 70s.  What human that has reached puberty does not want to grab a fist full of that chest hair?  I would have made the worst groupie and likely have been kicked out by not hiding my preference for those heads of hair over the sub-par looking gentlemen beneath them.

The 70s are dead, and as hard as I might try, they are never coming back.
sademoticon.com

But the one good thing about this day and age is that I can both oggle men with chest hair that I *probably* wouldn't oggle today.  Although if they slapped on some leather pants and still groomed their moustache and/or amish-looking full beards and used conditioner, I probably positively would.

If a man is smart enough to maintain a mane, facial hair, chest hair, wear cool shades effortlessly while squeezing his balls into leather jeans that are at least one size too small, he is smart enough to breed with.  Musical skillz are optional, but desired.  Yes that is my checklist and no I am not kidding.

I am going to start a sperm bank that is by invitation only for manly and musical men.
-bruiser

Morrison: Sexy, Even in Death

I have been on such the Doors kick this week - thank god for youtube playlists!

Jim Morrison may have had the best voice in rock n' roll history - I haven't officially decided this yet, but he is definitely better than Robert Plant.  And the Doors were better than Zeppelin because they actually were about creating music and were completely original - now I love Zeppelin, but they were just trying to sell records and probably stole the largest number of songs in the history of forever. Bitches got away with violating that much intellectual property? I guess if it were me, I'd forgive Robert Plant too. But I don't forgive him for being old.

Jim was such an icon too - his style is enviable and so is his hair.  Although he has a really pretty face, I don't think he has any real sex appeal without his hair. Google it for yourself to see what I'm talking about - the hair made the man.  And it helps that he had the most perfect head of curls in the world (again, better than Robert Plant) - call them Adonis curls. Sexy as hell. Charlie Sheen can't beat that [whada douchebag].

And as I was taking google images to pound-town, I realized that James Roday is the reincarnation of Jim Morrison.  The similarity is insanely creepy.  It explains James's sexiness, and if he really was reincarnated, it explains why they both have bad attitudes.

And then there is Jim in a beard - such a fucking Stud. I personally think it's his best look, and because I believe in expressing your feelings via facial hair - his is screaming 'I don't give a fuck'.

And I often see many a man sporting a beard with short hair, which looks better than no beard, but I truly think many will find girls throwing themselves at them if they grew out their hair. Just an observation.

Too bad James Roday can't sing (as far as I'm aware)
-bruiser                                                                              source and source

Sexy Bears with Beards and Staches

I am so in love with Blogger's 'Stats' page they added recently. It tracks all of your blog traffic and gives you general information about your readers. It's far less stalkerish than I usually like to be, but it actually shows that more people love Power-Stache than my other stalker websites. And I have some serious stalker-skillz. I can find anyone on Facebook as long as I have two pieces of information about them. Impressive, right? I'm a weird creeper, cause I actually don't give two shits about anything that a Facebook page divulges other than a full name usually. In truth, its more for academic purposes - getting email addresses for group work and such. I know, lame right? My nerdiness and sense of responsibility will be my downfalls, I'm sure of it.

Now that I may or may have not sufficiently convinced you all that my Facebook creeping is innocent in nature, we can get back to the topic at hand - blogger stalking. It really just feeds my narcism. That and my family usually. If your family doesn't tell you how awesome you are all the time, get a new one. And if your family doesn't appreciate facial hair, get a new one. And if your family doesn't approve of you marrying your hockey-player-husband in your dreams, you may want to consider exchanging them as well. I know I have. Oh well. I digress. Again.

My favorite part of following what people do online is that I sometimes get to know what one searches in order to get to my blog. And because they are quite hilarious, I am going to share it all with you! I'm too kind, I know.


What kind of class does this institute solicit?  I really just don't want to know.

1.) the Jersey Shore has infiltrated my pristine temple to facial hair. 

2.) power stache - obvi 

3.) "big hair" mascot furs is EVERYTHING that this blog is about. Fact. I just wonder how far gone you have to be to type that specific combination of words into a search engine. What exactly are you expecting to find? 

4.) i totally ate at a football. How the FUCK does this search lead one to Power-Stache? There are just no words. 

5.) muskrats mustache makes sense, but why would anyone desire to view a muskrat's mustache? 

6.) clearly.

7.) rape stache. Interesting choice of words. I mean, we have discussed the rape stache which did not get Power-Stache's seal of approval. But there are so many better staches to view.

8.) sexy bears with beards and staches sounds like I need to expand my subject matter. Not only is there a market for bears with beards AND staches, but there is also a market for sexy bears. I may have hit the jackpot with that one.

9.) this ones probably from myself. whoops

10.) this one is definitely an international search. Which means Power-Stache is important. Likely from my excessive and tasteful use of italacks. 

-bruiser

Another Distacheter!

It has been far too long since this blog has seen a truly bad stache. Presenting (drumroll puhleaze) Anthony Kiedis!

Now this man is the king of current music, being the front man of RHCP and all. That band understands music and boy, do they have musical skillz!

RHCP always have fresh and funky beats, but AK's stache is only stale and funky (in a bad way). Not only is it very uneven and patchy, it simply lacks any real style. A normal mustache + skinny handlebar = distacheter.

Over time Sir Psycho Sexy has clearly learned a few rules of maintaining star-quality facial hair. Here he is recently at the Lakers vs Celtics game with his boys Flea and Chad (not pictured).

Now thats a stache we can all live with. Full of body and symmetrical, it reminds me quite a bit of Johnny Depp's stache which looks GOOD. It's also a little Power-Stache which can't hurt. And an AK/Johnny Depp combo is sexy as hell.

Now I wish I could promise that the bad stache is gone for good, but unfortunately I can't. AK is never content and is willing to do nearly anything to his amazing indian (feather) hair which, as we all know here at Power-Stache is sinful but I can't do too much about it besides publicly chastise him.

Here's hoping that we never have to see him here again.

-bruiser

Name that Stache!

Oh sweet 6lb. 8oz. baby Jesus, its Alex Trebek's stache back from the grave of sinful shaving.

Funfact: Jeopardy and Trebek's stache are actually one entity.

Funfact: Trebek is significantly more creepy and less trustworthy sans stache.

Funfact: I remember being emotionally distraught as a child when he shaved his stache.

Funfact: The only reason why Jamal can watch Jeopardy in Finding Forrester is because of Sean Connery's beard.

Funfact: There are zero (thats so many!) reasons to watch Jeopardy with a stacheless Trebek.

What a distacheter!!!!

Oh shoot! remember February's winning stache? It's back! and completely relevant! WOW, thats so rare!

Learning the following two facts made me have a spazz attack this morning:

1. Carlton has a name (its Alfonso Ribeiro)

2. Alfonso Ribeiro (and his famous crustache) host a game show, on my favorite game show channel, the Game Show Network!

Now I have no clue what this game is actually about, cards, trivia, or whatever since I don't have a tv (gasp). But believe me when I say it would be new favorite show considering Carlton's hosting a game show. And thats exactly what it is, and I can only fathom it being nearly as entertaining the Fresh Prince reruns.

What is actually more entertaining than reruns of Fresh Prince is the love of my life, Chuck Woolery!!!

Again, why don't I have a tv? I can't exactly explain why, but I am completely and utterly obsessed with Chuck Woolery and his lovely late-night game show, Lingo. Maybe its his charm, his good looks, his winning smile, his crude jokes about balls, or his super hosting skillz that counter the fact that the contestants on Lingo are the most boring and unanimated people alive. I often debate [with myself of course] whether its a game about spelling under the illusion of pressure, or if its a reality tv show about people born without personalities. Fortunately, Chuck has enough personality to go around.

The man says he'll be back in 2-and-2 and no one doubts him. And he achieves this feat [I would have added amazing there, but I've begun to question my judgement skillz] sans stache. Now we all know that I am a fan of blanketed-overstatements and we also all know that wearing a stache makes one significantly more trustworthy [unless its a pedostache], but this man doesn't need a stache to gain my trust.

We salute you Chuck! Scha-wing.

-bruiser