Never Before Seen...For a Reason

You can find anything on the Google Machine....including ginger reverse bang-mullets:

Unseen horrors begone!  Never before could I have imagined such a cruel punishment.  I wasn't quite sure what my greatest fear in life was, but waking up like this is at the top of the list, easy.

This guy isn't even the most heinous of ginger roots out there, so why? So many whys?!  What could possess an individual to grow the most horrifying of fringe [I am more critical of bangs than of even moustaches, I should know, I rocked them. I was fresh to death] whilst shaving the rest of their head?  And all of this while being a fire crotch? Turn in your man-card dude; you can keep your virgin card as long as you want though. I don't even think you could pay someone to take it from you, when you look like a walking case of the herp'. No one wants that.

The shadow of a mustache and chin hair look like some out-of-place bush. Facial vaginas are even worse than actual vaginas. At Sesame Place, this is what one would call a 'code Elmo' - a whole lot of bloody fur and dozens of children running away, screaming.

I hold nothing against you personally, but having seen this image, I hope you crawl in a hole and die.
-bruiser

The Hollywood Moustache

Most of Hollywood's sexiest men have sported a stache at one point or another in their careers.  But more interesting than that, they have all sported the same moustache - all of them. Check it:

John Gilbert

Errol Flynn

 The ever-sexy Cary Grant

 Clark Gable

Douglas Fairbanks 

John Barrymore 

 Robert Taylor

Vincent Price 

William Powell

There's a reason the Hollywood moustache caught on like a case of the herp'.  It exudes intelligence, control, wealth, and class.  You can't tell me that (nearly) any man with freshly pomade hair, a skinny tie, a tweed suit with pressed lapels, a fedora and a hollywood moustache shaved with a straight razor isn't gonna make your panties drop.

Which genius will bring it back in style first?

-bruiser

BBall Beards

Sports seem to be disproportionately be repped by Black People.  This isn't exactly true because that only really includes basketball and football, which is just half of popular sports. 2/5ths if you include curling. Seems fair for a minority that has superior physical abilities, no?

They also underrep the facial haired population.  This is also fair because A) they're a minority and B) it is no longer the 70s (unfortunately).  The Knicks, however, appreciate facial hair.

These beards are off the hook.  So far Power-Stache has only explored the trim, unkempt, and lumberjack beards.  But here we see men who view beard trimmers as tools of artistic expression.  If this isn't inspiration at its finest, I don't know what is.

I adore Felton's linear look - simple, yet incredibly unique.  It screams 'I'm formal, but I know how to party', whereas Curry's beard means business. Curry's is very flattering, and  it might be the reflection of his hairline.  I'm digging the symmetry.

Turiaf looks like the love child of Jesus and Lenny Kravitz.  Just try to unsee that. - Who knew a love child of Jesus could look like they'd beat the crap out of you at any moment?

Now if one of these guys would only have the balls to grow a stache.
-bruiser

(Source) 

MovemberMovemberMovember

It's that time of year. October is unfortunately over, but good news! November Movember is here!

In case you don't know what Movember is all about, men grow moustaches simply to raise awareness for men's health issues. It's like wearing those stupid drug-free ribbons from school, but on your face. Which means its way cooler.

Naturally, this only draws attention if one doesn't normally sport a mustache. However, if one frequents a moustache outside of Movember, its a good idear to sport a different style of moustache (if you need idears, click here).

You may have noticed the Movember picture on the right. Click on it to be directed to Power-Stache's Movember page and donate.

So prepare yourselves, Mo Bros and Mo Sistas! This Movember is gonna be hella fly!

-bruiser

A man that grows a Mo is a natural born leader.

More Evidence that Staches are Muses

Almost as notorious as his Red Hot Chili Pepper counterpart, Anthony Kiedis, for his radical variety of hairstyles, John Frusciante is also not a stranger to the moustache. The thing I've noticed personally about JF's style is that it's a constant cycle - one day he shaves his head, and then he grows it out for a few years until he shaves it again. And my favorite part about all this is that he looks amazing with both buzzed and long hair - and we all know how I feel about long hair. You have to be a special person to pull of a shaved head - or have a genetically-superior shaped head.

Not only is his head superior [and his guitar playing skillz], but his hair growing skillz are also quite exceptional. The man has Nice Hair. Hair so nice I'd consider it greater than my own. I know, it's that good.

                                                                          Here is John at Woodstock.   

Thank GAHD he brought back the mow-hawk (faux-hawk?) - it's been far too long.

At this particular time, JF contemplated growing a moustache. Unfortunately for everyone alive, he happened to ask someone who was not a fan of the stache (blasphemy!) and we poor souls were denied more than his usual scruff (upon further examination, I'd declare it a psuedo-stache. It's really as close as scruff can get).

Maybe it's for the best that the mustache was killed at woodstock - the number of adolescent hipsters exposed to such quality facial hair could have caused an earlier outbreak of hipsterism. And there is nothing ironic about                                                                             that.

Be honest, have you ever seen a cuter pair of bifffles in your life?

In case anyone has ever wondered why By the Way is the best RHCP album, look no further than this particular photo. That moustache is the fur that forged 1000 riffs. Or something like that. As I've said before, moustaches foster creativity and are highly-correlated with great art, THUS the superiority of that album is due to the catalyst known as that good-lookin' stache. And by good-lookin' I mean great, highly attractive, sexy, or if you are not american, smashing and/or brilliant.

But I am sad. Sad because this is the only photo I've ever seen of the endangered Frusciante stache. Where did it go? If it still exists, what threats are to it presently? What about future threats, such as razor blades and lack of proper trimming? What can be done to ensure it persists into the next generation? If anyone has seen the elusive stache, please comment with a link to the evidence!

And here is a more current photo. If for some reason you aren't obsessively watching his every move, here's the lowdown - he quit RHCP to pursue his other musical interests - artistic or otherwise. And the reason why JF is my favorite musician is because he truly considers music to be an art and takes it very seriously. His best work is closely associated to this 'creating art' idea.

And you can see that he has been extremely creative because of the length of his beard. He looks like 'Father Art' to me. I can feel the groovy vibes radiating from it. I just hope that this is nearing the end of his hair-growth cycle. Everyone can appreciate a freshly shaved John.

Enthusiastically awaiting new facial hair/hair cut/album
-bruiser

Anchor Stache

There are a finite number of ways one can wear facial hair [makers of Hairy Gary would disagree]. So to discover a new way to wear facial hair should be considered an accomplishment, whether or not people laugh at you for it like we are all about to do in 5..4..3..2..1

LOL Bronson Arroyo! I affectionately call this the 'Anchor Stache'. It looks more like a misguided tattoo than carefully trimmed facial hair. And anyone with such painful facial hair doesn't deserve to have long, luxurious locks. Shave your damn head. But thats the general pattern in Baseball - badbadBAD facial hair. When will we see a decent baseball stache? Hint: next week.

-bruiser

Totally GROSS Friday

As I've mentioned before, very few things cross the line for me. One of a myraid of things that do not cross the line is Black People Month. This item is just plain excessive. And excessive for me (I mean, heller) is just plain uncalled for. I present to you, the Muffstache! (available at Etsy).

No need to go all Ron Jeremy on the poor public. No one thinks you're funny for buying these (or making, for Stache Valentine's sake!). People, please refrain from publicizing your feelings about moustaches in public forums other than Power-Stache. It's just...shit's not kosher.

just stop it.

-bruiser

A Fashionable Facial Hair Friday

This Friday, I decided to enlighten you all with an example of Russia's finest (and most fashionable) facial hairs. Thanks to the Sartorialist, we can ogle over this man from Moscow.

I'll be upfront about this: I don't think I've seen a better looking Russian man before. And I'm not going to lie to you, although I really get my panties in a twist over a good turtleneck, this dude has Noicce Hair.

Can someone translate: Tell me sir where you get your haircut puhleaze. He needs to know how I feel about this.

But forealz, its so retro and he pulls it off googolplex times better than the beatles did. It's the right amount of shag and still professional looking. And zomg, it looks healthy! Don't lie to me, do you use pantene?

I really just want this man to sell me something. Anything. Conditioner, razors, aftershave, turtlenecks, eyeglasses, tacos, whatever. And we haven't even discussed the goatee! Have you seen nicer obtuse angles? His goatee looks like a fucking stop sign! I'd stop for him anytime *wink*wink.

-bruiser