The Bustache

You know thats right. Not only is a mustache a way of life, its also a way of driving... I'm just kindof "TO"-ed I didn't think of it first [and that she hasn't sent me a full body shot yet].

This is the perfect ride if you're compensating for something. I mean most men with mustaches are, right?

Gives a whole new meaning to the term "mustache ride".

-bruiser

Gold Medal Hair

Today's post is not about amazing facial hair, but instead about Nice Hair. Honestly, it's pretty amazing.

Ryan Smyth of the LA Kings (what a gay hockey team name!) should never wear a helmet and risk damaging his golden locks. His hair makes Farrah Fawcett (rest her soul) weep.

Ryan Smyth must be a hair idol to men everywhere, considering he was 32 when this picture was taken. Even George Clooney envys his fuller, more youthful hair.

And this guy sure has some balls to walk around with perfectly flipped hair these days. But he is an ath-e-lete, so anyone who messes with his hair won't fair well in a fight. Let alone a hockey fight. It's almost like they get paid to do it.

Just like Ville Leino's beard gives Finland a good name, Ryan Smyth's tousled tresses finally give 'hockey hair' a good name. The 'Ryan' may be the new 'Rachel'.

-bruiser

A Friday Worth Giggling About

In the spirit of writing this minutes before midnight, I decided to go with a mustache that is easy on the eyes...

Lol - jk! This picture was captioned "these are my casserole pants". Heck yes those are his casserole pants. I wouldn't want to eat a casserole where he didn't wear those pants. Some pants are special, and it takes a special person to recognize that. Take my 'african pants' for example. They should actually be renamed 'friends pants' because wearing those pants is an invitation for anyone to talk to me. I met over 15 people on one walk, all who were drawn by the magic of the pants.

Why should this man be any different? Yes there is a secret ingredient in his casserole and it has something to do with nylon. When you try to floss out blue and teal swirls from your tooth with extra threads from his waistband, you can barely notice his sub-subpar mustache. At least it makes mario and luigi laugh.

But not only is his casserole delicious, it appears that one can decorate with it as well! I'd like to order 2 rolls of vegetable casserole wallpaper, puhleaze.

-bruiser

Bad Sports Stache Sunday

Let's discuss Manny Ramirez of the LA Dodgers.

Granted that this man clearly does not have good hair genes, his gettup on a scale from good to bad is just awful. Not only does he have a crustache, which scores poorly among crustaches, his eyebrows are mini crustaches too! That combo makes me as nauseous as the idea of consuming a 3 piece french toast sticks from BK right now. BK should stick to Lanch. With mimosas and beer.

Not only does Manny proudly display his cold french toast combo, he also walks around knowingly with that sad excuse for chin hair. It really just looks like pit hair. Not much more I can say about that.

Manny, just stop it.

-bruiser

A Fashionable Facial Hair Friday

This Friday, I decided to enlighten you all with an example of Russia's finest (and most fashionable) facial hairs. Thanks to the Sartorialist, we can ogle over this man from Moscow.

I'll be upfront about this: I don't think I've seen a better looking Russian man before. And I'm not going to lie to you, although I really get my panties in a twist over a good turtleneck, this dude has Noicce Hair.

Can someone translate: Tell me sir where you get your haircut puhleaze. He needs to know how I feel about this.

But forealz, its so retro and he pulls it off googolplex times better than the beatles did. It's the right amount of shag and still professional looking. And zomg, it looks healthy! Don't lie to me, do you use pantene?

I really just want this man to sell me something. Anything. Conditioner, razors, aftershave, turtlenecks, eyeglasses, tacos, whatever. And we haven't even discussed the goatee! Have you seen nicer obtuse angles? His goatee looks like a fucking stop sign! I'd stop for him anytime *wink*wink.

-bruiser