Minnesota Movember

I apologize for yet another hockey post, but hockey has jumped all over Movember, its just so hard to resist.

The Flyers creamed Minnesota this week, but Minnesota looked better than Philadelphia did. I applaud anyone who can lose in style!

Brent Burns by far has the best 'stache on the team. He looks like a fucking creep, but its actually not the moustache's fault! Impressive!

I lied. It's a total tie with Cal Cutterback. Its like miniature mutton-chops. Mutton-chops for the chin. Movember is all about innovation! I will never get over the novelty of it.




Greg Zanon and Eric Nystrom have excellent moustaches as well, but Cutterback and Burns do stand out for creativity.

Movember is almost over!
-bruiser

I'm Not a Fan Either

Here's another one of those buzz stories. 67-year-old Steven Cowan was a fan of Dancing with the Stars. And he did not approve of Bristol Palin's faildancing, so he pulled out his shotgun and shot his TV. He then turned on his wife and the SWAT team surrounded his house for 15 hours. He will be pleased to now know that she did not faildance her way into the judges hearts cause that biotch came in 3rd!

I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty excited when I realized I would profile Power-Stache's first criminal-stache! Although not a rare breed, the criminal-stache doesn't hang out on People.com or Facebook, so they usually pass me by. The beautiful thing about criminal-staches is that they accentuate the frown and make mugshots even better.

Steven Cowan looks like the kind of guy who would shoot a TV. Sometimes I want to do it too - I'm just glad someone has finally done something about it. Steven Cowan, a champion for the cause! 

The only thing that surprised me about old Steven here is his full head of hair. WTF. How did the trigger-happy, dancing fan get blessed with good hair genes? Life just isn't fair.

Always encouraging moustached ladies and gents to shoot inanimate and animate objects,
-bruiser

That's a REAL Sports Stache

Sorry for being lame recently. You guys deserve an epic sports stache this week - and believe me, it does not disappoint.

For this stache we venture outside of the immense USA across the ocean to Portugal. Google Maps has not figured out how to get between these two countries, if you are interested, which means no jet skiis. Boo.

Football coach and former player, Artur Jorge is the coolest Portugeseian I have ever seen.

He is right up there with Sam Elliott for upper-liplessness - such an important quality! Such a full and dark moustache is too much cool for one coach. The hat seems to be a ladies-deterrent. Do what you can buddy, but I don't think one ill-fitting bucket hat is going to keep the ladies away from that stache for long. Especially with that adidas sweatshirt. Rawr.

This is the first evidence of a quality moustache in the sport of football (aka soccer) to be seen by Power-Stache. Now that I know it exists, more will be uncovered for sure. Until then, you enjoy this BK Triple Stacker - it has bacon on it. Delish.

-bruiser

Writers Have Boring Staches

Peter Ackroyd, critic and biography author, is probz a smart guy. Well, he knows more things than are on Wikipedia (not in sum, that would be whack). And from the two english classes I've taken, I have the understanding that critics are important? The only thing they've ever done for me is give me quotes for papers and waste hours of my life. I mean, that shits bor-ing! But lets venture on under the assumption that they are, in fact, of some importance.

One of his most recent works was "Canterbury Tales - A Retelling". A Retelling? Really? Cause that shit wasn't painful enough to digest the first time around? I'll be honest here, I am a nerd through and through, and I happen to be a fan of some really 'boring' books. So you can believe me when I say its boring, cause it was. And I don't expect any of you to run out to your local library trying to prove me wrong (bonus points if you know where your local library is).

I don't think even I could retell Canterbury Tales in an interesting and captivating way. Not when there's works of art like The Simpsons on every week. Bruiser's retelling would only pale in comparison.

So now that you know everything you need to know about Peter Ackroyd, lets diskuss. Sports anchor stache? Maybe...reminds me of Chris Berman. But that might be the balding. Or the fat. They all blend so well. The plaid suit is unique - that's not a mistake you see everyday.

I'll just lump it into the 'fat man stache' category. They're all essentially the same anyway.

I realize that I said it before, but writers are just so dull! I totally believe that they lead lively and exciting lives, but even PAck couldn't get a heartbeat out of this one. Perhaps his biographies are interesting. I could see that. If you're into that sort of thing.

-bruiser

Flyers Movember Update

So apparently Movember is the trendiest trend since buying lunch at school. That should get rid of the hipsters!

Many of the players have committed to growing moustaches for men's health awareness. But seriously, Keith Jones can't shut up about it, and its blowing up my Facebook newsfeed. This is in addition to Hartnell recently donating his hair to Locks of Love.

And it turns out it isn't going as well as they anticipated. Watch the video below to see what 2 weeks growth looks like for these guys:



Now part of the tradition of Movember is that heinous mustaches are celebrated, as well as the great moustaches we've come to expect. Short story, Carle and Carcillo have the weakest moustaches. This is ironic, because Carcillo has his own t-shirt with the slogan "Fear the Stache". Betts, Richards and Hartnell have the strongest moustaches so far. My bet on best stache is Hartnell, and has been from day 1. So far he hasn't dissapointed.

And here is a video of a few people with a poor sense of humor.



Making fun of the stache, really? You look like a dumbass. Take that stupid thing off and put those fake staches back in your bag, Giroux clearly wants nothing to do with them.

But if my hunch is correct, Canadians, and therefore 99% of hockey players have weak stache skillz. Can't wait to see how this grows in.

-bruiser