Dave Grohl is the Man

Let's have a conversation about how awesome Dave Grohl is.

Not only does he front the Foo Fighters, but he was in fucking Nirvana dude.

Not only does he have musical skillz but he has hair skillz too! I love that he has kept the rocker mane. Too many rockers go bald whimp out (technically he whimped out once but he's back now so its all cool). Plus he has a sick beard. If the most beautiful goatee and a 5 o'clock shadow made a baby, it was Dave Grohl. Such a juicy combo.
Plus Plus he offers super Cosmopolitan-quality grooming tips:

Stay sexxxy Dave.

-bruiser

German Disco

Warning: this video is not for the faint of heart.  That being said, roll tape!



This impressive piece of art goes from good to what to IDEAL.
1. Actually decent disco tune. Not bad.
2. We get a glimpse of the wizard/lead singer, and of course you're all like whattt but you venture on, because it is an investment with returns like piles of gold. Did you see how fat his goatee was? Exactly.
3. Now we can't tell if its Star-Trek the musical or just ABBA. Either is okay with me.
4. That clears things up - its German ABBA singing about Russia, Noicee.
5. Wizards back! And I think now we see that he is not a wizard but looks like the abominable snow man? Or maybe thats what USSR propaganda looked like in the 70s?
5.5. Oh snap! Wizard's close-up should be enlightening but its just more confusing.  Is that Indian with a hint of orthodox Jew plus a whole slop bucket of seasonal drag queen? Yeah I thought so.
6. Dear sir in the green ensemble: where have you been all my life? Or for at least the first two minutes of this video? With a moustache like that, no one is ever going to believe you are inclined to modesty.
7. The green moustache begins to sing within view of the camera and now we know why he was put in the back - when he opens his mouth its like his lips are trying to escape. Pan out already! The dude makes Fritz and Spock look normal. Perhaps he's related to the gums with a side of teeth in the red whatever it is?
8. Don't fear! The stereotypical-russian dancing wizard is here!

And now you are all the better for it.
-bruiser

Old Man Accessory: Tinted Glasses

What, no Sports Stache Sunday? I have made the decision to end my weekly post dedicated to Sport Staches - it isn't the end of Sports Stache Sunday, but it won't happen weekly. And if you are curious as to why, I klarly know nothing about sports, and I do just fine without spending hours scouring ESPN.com for something to write about that isn't really that hilar in the first place. So in the spirit of funny things, and old men (two of my favorite topics) I give you Chevy Chase and Leonard Nimoy!

I've been on a real 'Community' kick lately, and although I have already realized this about Pierce's character, I hadn't realized its a universal old-man phenomenon.  Old men wear tinted glasses (not in the way that Johnny Depp wears them, but in the way that rappers wear sunglasses).  What's the big deal?  These men are trying to hide the fact that they wear glasses by wearing tinted ones, and essentially, trying to appear more hip and less 'old'.

Now, of course I approve, because I am really jealous that I don't have Pierce's two-toned glasses instead of my Sarah Palin campaign glasses (which I had before 2008, thankyouverymuch).  And it goes without saying that Chevy Chase himself doesn't partake in these shenanigans - it is a manifestation of Pierce's insecurities.  He really looks unchanged, like his younger self with one of those fancy balding-wigs they have on SNL.  I mean, must be nice to afford botox, but no one gets results that nice.

And the only other actor that I could think of with tinted glasses was Leonard Nimoy  - who looks bangin' for 80.  And a full head of hair?  Does he have any single sons?.  I am certain there are other examples that I am blanking on - anyone else know one? 

Plz comment and I'll update this or make another post. kthnxbye.

-bruiser

source

Naked Ankles

January is naturally the time for dreaming of warmer and more fabulous places. Most of America is pretty miserable from December 26 through April 10th.  And since the grass is always greener in Europe, I'm pretending to want to move to Italy.

Now my personal vacation 4 years ago in Italy was a minidisaster - everything that could go wrong did.  And I have some of my fondest memories from that trip.  Please don't ask me about the gypsy story, that one is too horrifying for words.  So I won't actually be moving to Italy anytime soon  ever.  But this business man gives Italy a good rep [Photo from thesartorialist.blogspot.com].

The white pants and nautical blazer is a timeless look.  And for some sad reason, only Europeans are brave enough to go sockless with their loafers.  Look at all that leg he's giving us. Owow!

And this gentleman has embraced his baldness and gone for the Dome look.  See? I don't need to teach everyone how to look gud.  The shaved head really doesn't distract from his moustache.  And that moustache?  Well formed - in such a way that I can't imagine him without one.

He is using his moustache to his fullest advantage.  On him it is more of a daily accessory than an extension of his upper lip.  Much like his handkerchief or his cuff links.  The moustache totally makes the outfit.  Take notes hipsters.

-bruiser

Seeing McDouble

I am going to admit to being confused recently.  I am, in fact, a mere mortal, although I don't like to advertise it.  I must not pay any attention at all.

So I was watching the Capitals vs the Flyers and I was blown away - what was Claude Julien, of the Boston Bruins doing at the Capitals bench?  I was blown away and immediately googled the situation.

Who would have known it (likely everyone else besides me) that they are, in fact, two different peoples? Amazing, right?

Yes, they are two middle-aged white coaches who are bald and not the trimmest of folk.  Apparently thats where the similarities end, from what I can tell, but who would have known that?  Bald men are like people of a different race - they all look the same.

The pictures here should highlight the differences pretty well, although

Bruce Boudreau is slightly heavier.  Thats really the only definitive quality I can use to tell them apart. They're like the freaking Olsen twins: one is skeletal, and one is invisible if she turns sideways. Really slight differences.


And if you haven't been following the Flyers, you should all know Ville Leino's beard is looking fly.  Leino just happens to be #3 in +/-.

Don't tell me that it has nothing to do with the beard because it does.  And our homeboy Andrej Meszaros (also pictured) is #1 in +/-.  The beard is lucky for both of them.  It is totally back to playoff shape. Thats febreze fresh, mind you. Seriously Ville, call me.

-bruiser                                                                      

 [Images: http://www.sportsnet.ca/gallery/2010/01/01/julien_claude_gal_640.jpg, 

http://www.homermcfanboy.com/images/boudreau042210.jpg, Photo by Jim McIsaac]

Don't Fear the Bald!

Fashion and sports aren’t normally in the same sentence [see last week and every sports anchor in the business]. However, on occasion, sports enthusiasts are also fashionistas. Behold Kevin Stewart of ESPN:

This man lives and breathes Barneys, Armani Xchange, and sports. He is completely into himself – I mean obvi. But when you look gud, you are allowed. And when your beard is dope, you are also allowed. The array of colors in the beard is astounding. Its like a rainbow of grayscale coming out of his face. He’s inked up and wearing vintage chucks. I personally hate chucks, but he rocks them. And he rocks being bald.

Baldness is clearly a topic I’ve avoided here, but lets diskus. Some men can’t help it – what was once a lawn of neatly cultivated hair follicles is a locally extinct habitat. But take it with grace and style – shave the little hair you might have left. This is especially important for those with pattern baldness. The belt of untrimmed hair growing around the center of your cranium is not attractive and does not make people believe that you do have hair. It simply draws attention to the fact that you are missing hair on top and don’t get hair cuts with large enough frequency. So men, if you are faced with this dilemma, shave it all. If you simply have a receding hairline, a good alternative for you is to buzz your hair. Buzzed hair gives the same effect of baldness, especially if you are white and don’t have a dome.

Kevin Stewart has a dome. Generally most black men do. Dule Hill also has a magical dome – I’ve seen it in person, it really doesn’t disappoint. In truth, it is a work of art that would make Michelangelo weep.

I realize this is long so heres the summary: sports anchors need to burn ALL of their damn ties and get a wife who actually knows a thing about fashion. Kevin Stewart is awesome, having lush hair is enviable, but there comes a time in every mans life (see Sean Connery) that the bald or buzzed look should and must be rocked, and bald domes are beautiful. If you have a dome, call me.

-bruiser