Friday, April 15, 2011

Nolte: From Studly to Creepy

Ignore my ignorance, but I don't really remember anything before 2002, so I never remembered Nick Nolte as either A) sane or B) attractive. 

Everytime I think about it, I still find it hard to believe he was ever attractive, since he has hobo smeared all over his face.  Let alone that he was People's Sexiest Man in 1992. Holy shit that means he's 69.  And due to the existence of Sean Connery, his age does not make it an excuse one bit.

Let us stop looking at the horror of your future and focus on his sexy, moustached past.

Sexy. As. Hell.  

Move over Brad Pitt [for the record, I have never thought Brad Pitt was sexy. at all. but I am speaking for the masses here].  This is the reason why I get so depressed - knowing the 70s are 40 years behind us! Back in the days when Nick Nolte knew what conditioner was,  not only did Nick Nolte look slammin', but every other Joe Schmoe looked just like this too.

As much as my mother begs to differ, the 70s were IDEAL and there will be 0 decades better than the 70s. And of course by the 70s I mean 1967-1977.  Flavor-savers and thick heads of hair abound!

Sometimes its better to die young and beautiful than old and stanky

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