Sunday, February 6, 2011

Epic Beard Sunday!

It's Superbowl Sunday! You know what that means - you crackers better get out to the store, pick up some hotwings and beer, and celebrate Black People Month the right way!

And since footballers rarely do anything besides sit on their pile of money while getting tattoos and wearing do-rags, we will turn to a white man today for our Sports Stache Sunday analysis.

Brett Kiesel has been growing a masterpiece.  A miracle I'd call it - although other women only refer to miraculous growth as fetuses - this is a man's version of an expanding uterus. Check it:

Brett has invested in his face for two very good reasons: first as a shield, to soften the impacts his face might see in his 3 minutes of field time, and second, as publicity.  There's nothing wrong with using your superior genes to get ahead [and by ahead I mean money and bitches].  It's America. That's the kind of shit we pull.

I think the 2010s will be a progressive decade for facial hair everywhere.  For some reason people are only now recognizing its persuasive and monetary powers.  Which is just better for everyone else cause chances are, someone looks gud. And today, it's Brett Kiesel.  

But mull over the trend for a second - first it's Ville Leino representing hockey, then Brian Wilson rep-ing baseball, now Brett Kiesel giving football a good name.  And they all made it to the finals of their respective sport.  Fingers crossed one of those BBall gigantoids have figured out how to put the beard trimmer down by the end of the season.

So Brett Kiesel, I applaud your beard. It's dope as fuck. Power-Stache will be sorry to see it go.

[Image Source]

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