An Ode to Summer

Dear Summer,

I loathe you. You make me sick. Literally, like heat stroke, ereday. You burn my skin and will one day make me look like an old man [not a silver fox...so sadd]. You make me sweat and you make other people sweat which is HIGHLY OFFENSIVE TO MY NOSTRILS. And you make me wear shorts which are the most unnatural and most uncomfortable invention in the world - never again with that stupid piece of shit. We could still be friends if nudism was socially acceptable but its not so were not and i hate you. My dog hates you too and he's only 7 years old.. I want to kick your bifffle, global warming, in the ballz. He's a dick. We can't be friends. I know you like me but I hate you you she-man I am moving to Canada and blocking you on facebook. . I don't care what your friends say you aren't my season not now, not never! I hate yoou! I hate your friends too!! Stop calling me!

I'm calling Fall to invite him over. At least he goes dutch. you bitch

Sincerely,

bruiser