Awkward Phillies Player #3: Jayson Werth

So the Phillies are among the final four teams right now. And that's cool. I mean, they kindof deserve it with the best record in the league and all. Even though they did fuck up real bad for like 2.5 straight months, they appurantly rocked the rest of the season. So we will continue with the awkward players series.

Everyone loves themselves some Jayson Werth Beardage. And Hairage...Said the liar.

This picture is actually a really nice one of Werth. Like I'd probably frame that shit if I were his mom. And hang it right next to his first little-league team photo.

But I have to warn you - although the weirdo photographer who took these team photos seemed to really be able to capture the worst side of everyone's face, he accidently did a good jorb here. 

This, unfortunately, is something Werth realized. Not to be outdone by any of his fellow teammates, Werth brought the awkardness upon himself. View the awkwardness:

Seriously Werth? I know that holding the sign is obligatory or something, in case they forget who you are, but did you really have to hold the sign up to your chin? Are you trying to measure the growth of your beard? Cause I'm pretty sure it's growing just fine on its own. Just a guess.

With that being said - Werth probably has the best beard in baseball. Truthfully, they are a rare sight to see on bat-wielding men, but of the few, Werth's definitely stands out. Here it's probably due to the billy-goat-tip he is trying to develop, but in general, it's due to the visionary trip people experience while he runs the bases. Like on the scale of Bo Derek.

And although he is having a similar religious experience to Halladay and Madson, I like this shot because you can see his curls unlike in the last two shots. And curly hair is pretty lovely, like I'm obsessed with it due to the natural lack of disulfide bonds in my own locks, but the grass is always greener, right?

I've also been told that he's my boyfriend Ville Leino's doppelganger. I can kind of see the similarity, and he probably is the best doppelganger out there, but I don't think they're that similar. What do you think?


-bruiser